Kitty and Red get annoyed with Hyde and Samantha's constant fighting. After Jackie floods Fez's apartment and almost gets them evicted, she decides to save the day, using feminine methods. Donna tries to get people to donate money for a children's library and is in for some disappointment about the fans of "Hot Donna".
- Mila Kunis as Jackie Burkhart
- Danny Masterson as Steven Hyde
- Laura Prepon as Donna Pinciotti
- Wilmer Valderrama as Fez
- Debra Jo Rupp as Kitty Forman
- Kurtwood Smith as Red Forman
- Josh Meyers as Randy Pearson
- Don Stark as Bob Pinciotti (credit only)
- Tommy Chong as Leo
- Robert Kokol as Santa Claus
- Donna: My fans do whatever I say. When I told everyone to dance to Tear the Roof of this Sucker, there was nearly a riot at the prison.
- Jackie: Thanks a lot, Donna. My father had to hide under his bunk.
- Donna: (On the radio) I know some of my fans can't make, because you're in jail. But for the rest, where the hell are you!? I've signed enough of your bellies to know you're not out on dates!