POINT PLACE, WISCONSIN
ERIC FORMAN'S BASEMENT; PROM WEEK: THURSDAY, 7:46 P.M.
ERIC puts on his tux jacket.
ERIC: “My first Prom tux, huh! Come on guys; dig the crushed velvet!”
HE adopts a disco dancing position.
FEZ: “Eric, you look like a pimp.”
ERIC and FEZ sit on the couch.
HYDE: “You know Forman, Prom night can be a very special night for you and Donna.”
ERIC: “Hyde, this could be the biggest night of our lives! I mean Donna and I could go…”
FEZ: “To the Prom.”
ERIC: “No Fez, all, all the way.”
FEZ: “All the way… to the Prom!”
HYDE: “You know what you should do? You should definitely rent a motel room.”
ERIC: “Oh yeah, that's spontaneous.”
ERIC: “Look, if this night is as big as I think I want it to be very, very special because this is gonna be the first time for both of us.”
FEZ: “Oh, you silly virgins!”
ERIC: “Anyway, this is how I picture it.”
FANTASY #1: DONNA and ERIC are on the beach, watching the sunset.
DONNA: “Well, here we are walking on the beach, and now we're gonna do it!”
ERIC: “Yes yes! Isn't it spontaneous?”
DONNA: “Exactly! That's what got me!”
ERIC and DONNA kiss.
FANTASY #1 stops.
ERIC: “Oh, that was nice. But if I plan it out, it won't be nice, it'll be…” FANTASY #2: DONNA is in her kitchen reading a paper. ERIC comes in with a binder. ERIC: “Good evening.” DONNA: “Did you bring the forms?” ERIC: “Yes I did. Here's the guarantee of foreplay signed, initialed, notarized.” HE gives her a sheet and SHE checks it. DONNA: “Very well. As you know I'm on the pill, so here is your copy of the prophylactic waver.” SHE hands him a sheet. ERIC: “Oh, looks like we have a deal here. I'm looking forward to consummation.” THEY shake hands. DONNA: “Excellent.” ERIC: “Thank you.” FANTASY #2 stops. HYDE: “Forman, if you don't get a motel, it's gonna be more like this.” FANTASY #3: RED is on his armchair and ERIC comes in. RED: “You're home already? It's not even ten o'clock! You didn't have a plan, did you? KITTY, he's home already!” KITTY comes in. KITTY: “Already! Oh Eric, you are just such a loser!” SHE and RED laugh. RED: “He is, isn't he!” THEY continue laughing. FANTASY #3 fades. HYDE is laughing. HE stops and gives ERIC the phone and ERIC takes it and dials.
MIDGE: “Kitty, I am so mad at Bob! I'm trying to improve myself and he won't let me! Plus, he says my ideas are stupid!” KITTY: “Oh well now, that's the pot calling the kettle black, isn't it?” MIDGE: “I'll say! What?” KITTY: “Good coffee!” MIDGE: “Umm.” KITTY looks at her watch. KITTY: “You know, I'm sorry Midge, but, um, I really have to get to work.” SHE gets up. MIDGE: “Gosh darn it! I want a job!” KITTY: “Well, you know, Midge, having a job is not all it's cracked up to be. Working at the hospital is very hard work!” MIDGE: “But I don't want one of those jobs, I want a fun job!” KITTY: “Ok, well, even with a fun job, it's still, you have to deal with your boss!” MIDGE: “You're right. I'll get a job as a boss!” KITTY: “Well now, that is a sharp plan Midge! You just, you let me know how that goes!”
KELSO comes running in, all happy. KELSO: “Okay guys, guess who's taking Pam Macy to the Prom?” HYDE: “Anyone with a quarter?” KELSO: “Me!” FEZ: “Damn, and I had a quarter!” ERIC: “Wait, Kelso, you're not taking Jackie?” KELSO: “No way man, Jackie dumped me!” FEZ: “Hey, I can take Jackie!” KELSO: “Yeah, do it Fez and I'll kick your ass!” FEZ: “Well, well, well, look who suddenly cares…” KELSO punches him on the arm. FEZ: “Why did you hit me, that was sarcasm!” HYDE: “You know, you guys are making me sick with all your Prom talk. Proms are stupid.” ERIC: “Hyde, what would you know? You've never even been to one.” HYDE: “Well I haven't been at the dentist's either, but I don't need to go to know it's lame!” FEZ: “Oh, I know who I can ask to the Prom!” HYDE: “Oh boy! Who Fez?” FEZ: “The lucky lady is…my English teacher!” KELSO: “Fez, you can't take a teacher to the Prom!” FEZ: “Why not? She's always writing sexy comments on my homework: Nice Job, Good Effort, See Me, I love you.” THE GUYS stare at him. FEZ: “Okay, I made the last one up, but the other ones were real…”
DONNA is showing JACKIE her shoes. DONNA: “These are the shoes I'm wearing to the Prom! Aren't they cool?” SHE hands them to JACKIE JACKIE: “Oh my God, I was gonna get new shoes except Michael didn't ask me.” DONNA: “You like my Prom dress, right?” SHE shows it to JACKIE. JACKIE: “Oh my God, I was gonna get a new Prom dress, except Michael didn't ask me.” DONNA: “I'm so nervous about the Prom! I think it's gonna be the night that Eric and I … you know?” JACKIE: “Oh my Gosh, that's when Michael and I were gonna do it the first time!” DONNA: “Jackie, you and Kelso did it like two months ago, and like thirty times after that!” JACKIE: “Yeah, but it would've been the first time at a Prom! Except Michael didn't ask me!” JACKIE is on the verge of crying. DONNA: “Jackie, you broke up with him!” JACKIE: “I know! Isn't it sad?” THEY sits down. DONNA: “Look, just ask Kelso to go with you!” JACKIE: “God no, this is the Prom! This is no time for your stupid feminist crap!” The door opens and ERIC and KELSO come in. JACKIE: “Hello Michael.” KELSO: “Hello Jackie.” JACKIE: “I'm just here helping Donna get ready for the Prom because Eric and Donna are going to the Prom.” ERIC: “Yes, we are.” KELSO: “I'm going to the Prom.” JACKIE'S eyes widen. KELSO: “I'm taking Pam Macy!” DONNA looks at ERIC. SHE gets up and HE follows her in the living room . ERIC: “Oh, the…thing…” JACKIE: “Oh, I have a date too…” KELSO: “Who is it? What's his name?” JACKIE: “His name is… not important. What's important is he's better than you, in every conceivable way!” KELSO: “Well. Damn Jackie! That can be anybody!”
JACKIE and HYDE are watching T.V. together. JACKIE sighs. HYDE: “Jackie, if I ask you what's wrong, will you stop doing that?” JACKIE: “It's the Prom. Stupid Michael is taking stupid Pam Macy and I don't have a date, but I told him I did and I'm a complete loser!” HYDE laughs, then looks at her and stops. HYDE: “No you're not…” JACKIE: “It's just that, look, I thought he was going to ask me, and now everyone that's anyone is already going.” HYDE: “Oh, that's so true.” JACKIE: “How could you know, you're not even going! Oh, well you're not even going! Oh, Oh, and I bet you clean up real good!” HYDE: “Well, I do, but I won't. See, that's a big part of who I am.” JACKIE: “Look Hyde, I know we've had our differences but…” HYDE: “Jackie, we've had nothing but differences! In fact, don't we kind of hate each other?” JACKIE: “Yes, but this is the Prom!” SHE leans on his folded arms and starts crying. HYDE: “Jackie don't! Stop, stop crying… Stop it! Look, do you wanna go to the Prom?” JACKIE: “Yes.” SHE gets up and we see that she was faking it.
People are dancing everywhere. ERIC and DONNA walk in. DONNA: “Wow, the gym looks like… well, the gym with streamers but it's, it's nice.” ERIC: “Yeah, you know this is just gonna be an incredible night.” DONNA: “Really incredible.” ERIC: “Wait, what do you mean?” DONNA: “What do you mean?” ERIC: “Nothing.” DONNA: “Okay then, me neither.” KELSO comes over with PAM MACY. KELSO: “Hey guys. Pam this is Eric and Donna.” DONNA: “Hey, we have, um, biology class together.” PAM: “Biology?” DONNA: “Yeah.” KELSO: “See, Pam doesn't like to talk about school.” DONNA: “Um, are you guys having fun?” PAM: “No. I have to go to the bathroom.” SHE leaves. DONNA hits KELSO on the arm. DONNA: “My God Kelso, you'd rather bring her than Jackie?” KELSO: “Hey I love her!” ERIC: “No you don't!” ERIC and DONNA sit down and KELSO joins them. KELSO: “Ha ha, yeah I don't. See, but Jackie's gonna be really jealous!” MS. KAMINSKI: “Good evening kids, so, is everyone having fun?” ERIC: “Yes we are Ms. Cominski.” FEZ comes from behind her. FEZ: “There you are Diane, I've been looking all over for you. Shall we dance?” MS. KAMINSKI: “I'm not going to dance with you Fez.” SHE leaves. FEZ: “Isn't she adorable?” HE chases after her.
HYDE'S FRONT PORCH
JACKIE knocks on the door. EDNA, o.s. : “They're all gonna laugh at you!” HYDE: “Shut up Ma! You're making the night too damn special!” HE comes out. HYDE: “Hey. Wow, you look beautiful.” JACKIE: “Oh my God, so do you. Um, Do you want me to go inside and meet your…” HYDE: “No, no, no. Trust me, she's lovely.” HE takes her arm and leads her. THEY go down the stairs. HYDE: “Let's just go, alright?” SHE notices the small gold box he has tucked under his arm. JACKIE: “Is that for me?” HYDE: “Oh, yeah, here, I got this for you.” HE give her the box which contains a pink carnation. JACKIE: “Oh, God Steven, this is beautiful. You know, this whole experience has taught me that I don't need Michael to go to the Prom. I can go with anyone, even you. Thanks.” SHE kisses him on the cheek. HYDE: “Okay, let's not do that.” JACKIE: “Sorry. Um, I have my dad's Lincoln. Will you drive?” SHE shows him the keys. HE takes them. HYDE: “Yeah! He's got insurance, right? Wait, I don't care, let's go.” THEY leave.
FORMAN LIVING ROOM
MIDGE: “I've decided what kind of business I'm gonna open. What's the one thing people can't live without?” RED: “Oxygen!” MIDGE: “No.” KITTY: “No, no, no. That's true.” MIDGE: “But that's not what I'm selling. So keep guessing.” BOB: “Lemonade?” MIDGE: “Umm um. Give up?” BOB: “I'm about to.” MIDGE: “Greeting cards!” KITTY laughs, looks at the others and stops. SHE looks at her glass. KITTY: “Good wine!” THE PROM DONNA and ERIC are dancing to a slow song. DONNA: “This is such a great night.” ERIC: “Yeah.” DONNA: “It's too bad our parents aren't out of town so we'd have someplace to go, for after.” ERIC: “Yeah, like a motel room.” DONNA: “Yeah, that would've been great.” ERIC: “Really? ‘Cause I got one.” DONNA: “Did you plan on telling me?” ERIC: “No.” DONNA: “Well, it's better that you didn't. ‘Cause then it wouldn't have been spontaneous.” ERIC smiles. ERIC: “Sponta… Oh, you are so the girl for me!” DONNA: “Let's go.” ERIC: “Okay.” THEY leave. FEZ is sitting on stage. MRS. CLARK comes over. MRS. CLARK: “Why so glum Fez?” FEZ: “Well Mrs. Clark, you may be good at teaching the music, but you cannot help me in the ways of love.” MRS. CLARK: “Oh Fez, has someone got you down?” FEZ: “So far down Mrs. Clark!” MRS. CLARK: “Here's a little diddy I've been working on. Maybe it will help.” She takes the microphone. MRS. CLARK: “Hit it.” SHE starts singing “I will Survive”. FEZ dances near her and with her. SEVERAL PROM PICTURES ARE TAKEN: The first one is of ERIC and DONNA, the second one of JACKIE and HYDE, the third one of KELSO and PAM MACY and the fourth one is of FEZ and HYDE. FORMAN LIVING ROOM BOB: “Midge, you don't know the first thing about having a business!” MIDGE: “But there's no risk Bob!” BOB: “Why not?” MIDGE: “Because it's your money!” RED laughs. BOB puts his hands to his face. MIDGE: “Kitty, don't you think I should have my own cards shop?” BOB: “Midgie, hold on. I think I have a dynamite solution!” MIDGE: “Really?” BOB: “Oh yeah. ‘Cause I love ya. So I want you to have another baby and stop bugging me.” KITTY: “Oh Bob no!” MIDGE goes to the kitchen and KITTY follows her. RED: “So, how much this whole set up is gonna cost you?” BOB: “Plenty. But I figure it'll be cheaper than a divorce.” RED: “We'll see.”
THE MOTEL ROOM
DONNA and ERIC walk up to the door. ERIC: “And, uh, here we are.” DONNA: “This is so romantic.” THEY kiss. A GROUP OF PEOPLE, led by TIMMY stand near the corner. TIMMY : “Hey! It's Forman and Donna and they're gonna do it! Forman! Forman! Forman! YEAH!” ERIC unlocks the room and they get in. ERIC: “You know what? Those guys are just jerks.” DONNA: “Hey, I forgot about them already.” THEY start kissing again. THEY start to go down on the bed. ERIC: “Hang on, Hang on! Big stain! Big stain…” THEY get of the bed. ERIC: “I'm just gonna go grab a towel!” DONNA: “Okay.” HE goes to the bathroom and screams. ERIC: “Oh good God!” HE slams the door shut behind him, holding the towel. ERIC: “You know, they say you're more scared of you then of them, really so…” DONNA: “Yeah.” ERIC lays down the towel on the stain. THEY sit on the bed. ERIC: “You know, Donna, I've thought about this moment like a thousand times.” DONNA: “Me too.” THEY start kissing. TIMMY, o.s . : “One, two, three!” THEY stop kissing. A big noise is heard. TIMMY, o.s . : “Alright! Yeah!” ERIC: “Hey, when you thought about this moment, was it like this?” DONNA: “Not really…” ERIC: “You know, I was having a pretty good time at prom.” DONNA: “Me too. Let's get out of here.” ERIC: “Okay, Um, Donna, what if this is our only chance?” DONNA: “It won't be.” ERIC: “Okay.” THEY get up .
JACKIE and HYDE are dancing. KELSO and PAM are also dancing, but KELSO can't take his eyes off of JACKIE. JACKIE: “It's just that I always pictured Michael and I together at the prom. That's how it was supposed to be, you know?” HYDE: “Yeah, I know. Well, hey, Pam's butt looks really big in that dress.” JACKIE: “No it doesn't.” HYDE: “Yeah, no it doesn't.'” JACKIE: “But thank you. Do you mind if we just sit down?” HYDE: “Yeah okay, I'll go grab some punch.” HYDE goes to the refreshments table and KELSO follows him. KELSO: “Hyde, you brought Jackie to the Prom? You're supposed to be my friend and you dogged me!” HYDE: “Hey, she cried man!” KELSO: “Well, is she having a good time? ‘Cause she looks real pretty.” HYDE: “Alright, look you big baby! She wants to be with you and you want to be with her, so go be with each other ‘cause the whole thing sickens me!” KELSO: “Well, what am I gonna do with Pam?” HYDE: “Don't worry about it, I'll take care of Pam.” KELSO hugs HYDE. HYDE goes to PAM and sits next to her. HYDE: “Excuse me Pam? Hi. Have you ever seen the backseat of a Lincoln Continental?” PAM: “Lots of times.” HYDE: “Would you like to see another one?” PAM: “Sure.” HYDE: “Great.” THEY leave. KELSO and JACKIE walk up to each other. KELSO: “Jackie.” JACKIE: “Michael.” KELSO: “You look beautiful.” JACKIE: “You look really handsome.” KELSO: “I miss you.” JACKIE: “I miss you too.” THEY start dancing, more like hugging. The song gets more upbeat. People start dancing in a fast paced way. KELSO and JACKIE still barely move. People start going away and finally, the lime-light is on JACKIE and KELSO.
THE PROM ERIC and DONNA are dancing to a slow song and FEZ comes over, dancing with his English teacher. FEZ: “Eric, please may I have your motel room key please?” MS. KAMINSKI: “Fez, I'm not going to a motel with you.” FEZ: “Yes and you also said you would not dance with me.” THEY continue dancing.