Brooke lets Kelso baby-sit and when the baby won't stop crying, he thinks he is unfit. He leaves the infant with Eric and Donna while he goes out for diapers and things go terribly awry.
In the Forman kitchen, Hyde is looking forward to the auto show, saying that his El Camino will be bad ass when he tricks it out. Jackie says that it sounds like accessorizing, and Hyde admits that it is. Red wants to go, and tells Kitty to get in the car. Kitty comments on the book that she's taking with her and tells Jackie to take a book too, because once they get to the auto show, Hyde will leave her alone. Jackie says that she's a pretty girl, and that's not the kind of thing that happens to her.
In the Forman driveway, Leo practises basketball. Kelso comes in with Betsy, excited about showing her off, then remembers to introduce Brooke. Brooke has to go, and leaves Betsy with Kelso. Kelso says that looking after a baby is like bowling; Leo says that bowling freaks him out because the ball keeps coming back.
[Scene change: Kelso blows kisses at the camera.]
In the Forman basement, Eric comes down and is ready for sex with Donna, but they can't do it because Fez is there, and won't leave. Kelso comes in with the baby, and says that he's going to stay there for the day and can't go to his own house because his brother is home and playing darts without a dartboard. Eric goes upstairs and tells Donna to join him. Donna thinks that Betsy is adorable, then wonders about the weird face the baby is making; she and Kelso realize it's a pooh-face, and Kelso is shocked that it's everywhere.
[Scene change: Kelso struts towards the camera.]
In the Forman basement, Kelso is changing Betsy's diaper, using a rubber shark to pull the diaper off; Fez chucks everything out the door. Kelso realizes that he left the teddy bear at his house and that's why she's still crying, so he leaves to go get it. Donna's nervous about being left with the baby.
[Scene change: Hyde's face in a close-up shot.]
At the auto show, Hyde looks around and likes what he sees; Red goes off, and Kitty gives Jackie 30 second before Hyde leaves, but he's planning on spending the whole day with her. Hyde goes off to get Jackie some funnel cake; Kitty says that Hyde isn't coming back because he's a man.
In Eric's bedroom, the baby is asleep, and Eric wants to have sex. Donna doesn't want to because of the baby, but she gives in. While they're in bed, kissing, the baby starts crying; Eric doesn't want to stop, telling Donna that it's too late to put the tiger back in the cage, and because he's eighteen, he's always ready to go, but Donna picks up the baby and leaves.
In the Forman kitchen, Fez is staring at the bottle of breast milk. Donna asks if he would be able to have sex with a baby in the room, he says no. Donna tells Eric that he's more disgusting than Fez. Bob comes in and when he sees Donna holding a baby, tells her that if it's her baby, he's going to snap Eric in half. He says that he needs someone to push him in his hammock and asks Fez if he wants to do it, adding that he tips well. Kelso comes in with the teddy bear, but Betsy still won't stop crying. Kelso is worried that Betsy doesn't like him; Donna tells him not to take it personally, she didn't like him when she first met him either.
[Scene change: Jackie jumps in the air.]
At the auto show, Hyde brings Jackie the funnel cake and she feeds some to him; Kitty is disgusted and tells them to get a room. Hyde mentions that Red was in front of him in the funnel cake line, and wonders why he's not back yet. Kitty sees Red with car models posing for pictures and is very upset.
In the Pinciotti's livingroom, Kelso is still trying to make Betsy stop crying; Leo comes in and takes her, she stops crying. He tells Kelso that babies love him because he's fuzzy, then heads to the kitchen to give her a bottle. Kelso says that it's true that Betsy hates him, and realizes that it's because she doesn't know him. Donna says that he should get to know her, and he should go hold her. They go into the kitchen, but Leo isn't there, and neither is Betsy.
[Scene change: Kelso crawls across the screen.]
In the Forman livingroom, Kelso Fez and Donna meet, and they haven't been able to find Leo anywhere. The phone rings, it's Brooke wanting to check in on Betsy; she wants to talk to the baby. Fez pretends to be the baby, saying in a high-pitched voice, "hey mama send more milk." Brooke believes Kelso when he tells her that Betsy's sleeping. After he hangs up, Kelso tells them that he's starting to freak out; Donna says she's sure Leo is watching Betsy like a hawk.
At the Pinciotti's, Leo is asleep in Bob's hammock with the baby, Bob comes in and takes the baby; Leo wakes up and falls out of the hammock. Bob yells at him, asking what Leo is doing in his house. Leo is confused about whose house it is, although he admits that usually the guy yelling is the home-owner.
[Scene change: Red's face in a close-up shot.]
At the auto show, Red tells Hyde that Kitty's going to be really mad, so he thinks that they should just leave her there, Jackie and Hyde agree. Kitty comes in and says that she wants to speak to Red in the car; she yells at him for leaving her alone. Red says that he was just trying to have a little fun.
[Scene change: Jackie and Hyde dance towards the camera.]
In the Forman livingroom Brooke is on the phone again, and wants to talk to Betsy, but Kelso is still lying to her; Donna threatens him, so he starts to tell the truth, but then Bob comes in with Betsy and Kelso shouts "I found her!" Brooke wants to know what he meant by that, but Kelso just hangs up on her. The baby starts crying, but stops when Kelso holds her; he's happy and says that the baby likes him. Donna says it's beautiful and Fez cries.
[Scene change: Fez dances towards the camera.]
In the Forman kitchen, Red tries to apologize to Kitty, saying that the people at the auto show pay the women to pay attention to men, and they're like hookers, then realizes that he probably shouldn't have said that. She tells him that she was upset because Hyde stayed with Jackie, but he left her alone. Red says that she can't compare their relationship to Jackie and Hyde; adding that he gets to wake up to his favorite lady every morning. They kiss; Eric and Donna come in and see them. Donna asks if that puts Eric's tiger back in the cage, and he admits that it does.
In the Forman basement, Kelso is holding the baby; Brooke comes in; Kelso doesn't want to let her go. Fez is upset that Kelso doesn't pay him that much attention. Kelso tells Brooke that he knows that he hasn't been around much but that's going to change because he wants to get to know her. Brooke goes upstairs to get her stuff, Kelso picks up stuff from the basement and finds a bottle of breast milk hidden; he tells Fez that he needs help.
[End credits: At the Pinciotti house, Bob's in his hammock, there's Hawaiian music playing and Fez is rocking him. Fez says that he hates himself, but the money is so good. Bob tells him to go faster so that it stirs his drink.]
- Topher Grace as Eric Forman
- Mila Kunis as Jackie Burkhart
- Ashton Kutcher as Michael Kelso
- Danny Masterson as Steven Hyde
- Laura Prepon as Donna Pinciotti
- Wilmer Valderrama as Fez
- Debra Jo Rupp as Kitty Forman
- Kurtwood Smith as Red Forman
- Don Stark as Bob Pinciotti
Special Guest Stars