- „When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun! But if you mix 'em, they can turn you into a dumbass”
- —Red giving the talk to a drunk Fez
Hyde's upset when he discovers that the gang has thrown a party for the sole purpose of finding him a girlfriend.
Tired of seeing Hyde staying single, the gang throws a party so he can meet a girl. Fez becomes attracted to Big Rhonda after he gets drunk while Eric uses is recent breakup to attract the sympathy of the girls attending the party. Hyde meets a new girl and sets up a date with her by promising to "call her."
Bob and Kelso enter a radio contest with a brand new van as the grand prize. As the contest is about to begin the reigning WFPP contest champion arrives and starts talking himself up to Bob and Kelso. After quickly removing Bob by making lewd comments about Donna he attempts to force Kelso to pee by having a coffee drinking contest for him. Jackie shows up complaining about the party and helps Kelso win the van by driving the old champion nuts with her incessent "am I prettier than ---?" questions.
- Topher Grace as Eric Forman
- Mila Kunis as Jackie Burkhart
- Ashton Kutcher as Michael Kelso
- Danny Masterson as Steven Hyde
- Laura Prepon as Donna Pinciotti
- Wilmer Valderrama as Fez
- Debra Jo Rupp as Kitty Forman
- Kurtwood Smith as Red Forman
- Don Stark as Bob Pinciotti
Special Guest Star
- French Stewart as Daniel
- Howard Hesseman as Max
- Cynthia Lamontagne as Rhonda Tate
- Reagan Gomez-Preston as Melissa
- Courtney Peldon as Katie
- Sally Brooks as Sally
- Mindy Spence as Mindy
- Christina Carnell as Chrissy
- Alice Frank as Alice
- Lynsey Bartilson as Lynsey
- China Chow as China
- Colleen Haskell as Colleen
- Carnie Wilson as Carnie
- Fez – (drunk) I know I just met her, Mr. Red, but I love her. She is... sturdy. I want to climb her
- Red – You're just desperate to give it away, aren't you son?
- ―Oh, boy
- Red has a 'man to man' talk with Fez
- Eric tells the girls at Hyde's party about his break-up with Donna
- He also tells Katie that Donna wouldn't take his promise ring.
- Eric takes his first step in moving on, getting Katie's phone number.
- Hyde meets the first and only girl on the show that is confident and respects herself, prompting him to try and meet her needs instead of writing her off. The only other instance of this was Patty (who later dated Fez) who left her date with Hyde after stating why they were different. Unfortunately, Melissa is never seen again.