Fez

Fez

Bio
Eyes	Brown
Hair	Black
Birthday	August 4, 1960^[1]
Nickname(s)	The Foreign Kid, The Foreigner, Boy With The Accent, Cocoa Puff, Ali Baba, Hadji, Pele, Tarzan, Sabu, Anwar, Tonto, Desi, Captain Pooface, lover, Space Cowboy
Job	Shampoo Boy (currently) Registration at the DMV (formerly)
Relationships
Family	Unknown man (father) Unknown lady (mother) Unknown lady (sister)
Romances	Jackie Burkhart (girlfriend) Laurie Forman (ex-wife) Nina Bartell (ex-girlfriend) Rhonda Tate (ex-firlfriend) Caroline Dupree (ex-girlfriend)
Behind the scenes
Portrayed by	Wilmer Valderrama
First appearance	That '70s Pilot (1.01)
Last appearance	That '70s Finale (8.22)

"You undressed yourself, you son of a bitch!!!”

—Fez^[src]

Fez is a fictional character from the television series That '70s Show, played by Wilmer Valderrama.

Origins

Main article: Fez's Homeland

One of the shows running gags is that no one knows what country Fez is from. Fez is merely the phonetic version of the acronym FES: Foreign Exchange Student. His friends know his true name (the audience does not because when he says his name the high school bell is ringing), It is very long and he says the first five K's are silent. His friends say they are not going to remember it, as seen in a flashback episode so they decide to call him Fes(z) but Kelso suggested that they call him "Captain Poo-Face". What Valderrama was actually saying was the first names of the main actors who appear in the show. It was rumored that his mother and his true native homeland would be revealed in the series finale, but all were proved false.

He once said he had Latin pride, which led Red to believe he was Latin. Fez retorted "No, only my pride is". He once said that he could speak Dutch in a job interview, and viewed this as "his strongest point". Also, Fez once claimed his country has never fought a war. In another episode, however, he alludes to the fact that his country "won the war" against Britain. This indicates that he may be Indonesian. In another episode he tells the gang that his ancestors were not Mayan. Fez refuses to ever mention what country he is from.

Fez's love for Jackie

Main article: Jackie & Fez

ThatDiscoEpisode — Fez and Jackie dance in That Disco Episode

In the first half of the series, Fez longingly pined for Jackie Burkhart, worshiping her like a queen (although he was often just as annoyed by her as the other gang). Jackie either failed to realize his love for her or did not act upon it because he was foreign, and therefore way below her standards. They did share a kiss in one episode when he mistakenly thought Jackie was opening up to him. They shared another kiss when pretending to be dating to help Jackie keep her job. Michael Kelso, Jackie's boyfriend, quickly socked him in the face. Jackie revealed to her friend Donna that she did enjoy his display of affection. Other times that Jackie has shown a small interest in Fez include the time when he wowed her with his dancing moves at a Disco and when he helped her win at a Roller Disco contest.

Jackie got drunk to celebrate her win and hit on Fez. After battling with his light and dark side (shown as two shrunken Fezs on each of his shoulders dressed as Batman and The Riddler), he decided to be a gentleman and not take advantage of her. The two did go on a date when Jackie broke up with Kelso, but Fez was let down when he realised that Jackie had not yet gotten over Kelso. He was also disgusted that she was engorging herself with food. Later on during the events in Season 8 the episode before the finale the two finally confessed their feelings and become boyfriend and girlfriend.

Romances

Caroline Dupree

Another short relationship he had was with a girl from school named Caroline, whom Donna had set up with Fez. They shared a few love-filled months together until Fez realised that Caroline was obsessed with him and also mentally unstable. He broke up with her, lying that he and Donna were in love so as not to make Caroline think he ended the relationship because she was crazy.

Rhonda Tate

Jackie brings Rhonda to the party to find Hyde a girlfriend, and she and Fez hit it off almost immediately, Rhonda telling Fez "I may not be pretty but, given the chance, I'll put out something fierce".^[2] Fez was romantically involved with Rhonda for awhile, and almost lost his virginity to her.^[3]

Nina Bartell

Eventually, Fez got a job at the DMV where he seduced his coworker Nina. The two had sex, finally ending Fez's agonizing life as a virgin. But, as Fez recounted, it was not a magical moment; there was no soft music "like in the movies so I had to hum" - Nina had asked Fez to stop humming but he started again without realizing it. There were then some sounds that "were certainly not applause". The night ended with him sneaking out of Nina's bathroom window pantsless. Nina did give Fez a second chance but it did not work.

Laurie Forman

Main article: Fez & Laurie

Near the end of the Season 5, Fez was arrested for vandalism of the town's water tower and came close to being deported back to his native country. But at the last moment, Laurie Forman slept with Fez and subsequently married him so he could stay in America. Red suffered a heart attack upon learning this. Their marriage is clearly not one of love, as Laurie went on their honeymoon to Cancun with someone else.

Danielle

In "Mother's Little Helper", Fez, working as the shampoo boy at a salon, meets a girl named Danielle, and they end up starting a relationship after Danielle stood-up her date (who turned out to be Kelso). When she kissed Kelso, Fez told her she had to choose between him or Kelso, to his surprise, she chose Fez. They were supposedly still in a relationship after the episode ended, although she was never mentioned again.

Quotes

"If there's one thing guys like us know, it's how to have sex. Oh, I cannot live with this lie. Everyone, prepare to be shocked. I, Fez, am still a virgin"

Fez: "Now, good day!"

Anybody: "But, Fez"

Fez: "I said, good day!"

"An apple? Where's my candy you son of a bitch!?"

"Candy and Porno"

"Kiss my brown ass"

"You bastard!"

"I have needs!"

"Mmmmm, liquid candy!"

"Ayyyy"

"You guys better be kidding or I'm going to be super pissed!"

"Mmm... candy"

"Thanks for getting me at the police station you two sons of two bitches!"

"There you are! Give me back my jelly beans you son of a bitch!"

"You have a girlfriend, you have a ring, I have NOTHING!"

Fez: "Now good day."

Kelso: "but Fez..."

Fez: "I said kiss my ass"

"What have you meddling whores done to my Rhonda?"

"Fez likes them big, Fez likes them small... Fez likes them all"

Trivia

Fez began the show as living with fundamentalist "Bible thumping" host parents, who forbade "devil's music" like KISS, which they accused of being blackmasked. Hyde had Fez sneak rock albums into their house that were hidden in Pat Boone record jackets.
Fez also has a great affection for candy and porno.
When the guys first met him in Season 4 Class Picture, they asked his name. Vilderrama merely uttered the collected names of the entire cast while his voice was drowned out by the school bell.
His jokes are usually really bad, lame puns and he is generally the only one who laughs at them. When Fez looks around to see no one else amused, he is very offended. When Kelso got a "job" selling sperm to a clinic, Fez said "Oh, to be a working stiff". Causing Hyde to laugh. Unfortunately for him, he did not understand what he even said, which is indicated by his facial expression when Hyde laughs.
Fez was the last to lose his virginity.
Red is incapable of remembering Fez's nickname except when inebriated. He has called Fez all kinds of ethnic names, but he usually calls him just "That foreign kid".
Fez probably has a sister, as he stated when Kelso slept with Angie (Hyde's half-sister), "This is why I keep my sister ten thousand miles away in a jungle".
Fez had a short stint working at the FotoHut, then got a job at the DMV. On his resume, he said that his mother's maiden name was "Streisand, but she won't acknowledge me".
In Season 7, Fez's foster parents realized that he had graduated high school a year ago and kicked him out. Fez was forced to rent an apartment. He was rooming with Kelso, but Kelso soon left for Chicago to be closer to his daughter--he was out of the circle. And so Jackie moved in with Fez. They became very close, but things got really complicated when Jackie found herself falling for Fez. He had been chasing her for years, but she never wanted anything to do with him. Fez actually became something of a lothario in Season 8 finale.
In Season 8 on the last episode, Fez start's going out with Jackie and they have their first kiss on the water tower. It is heavily implied they slept together because they are seen going upstairs together near the end of the finale.