Jackie wants to throw a small, classy party, but Kelso ruins it by inviting everyone. Things get worse when he accidentally sets her house on fire. Red discovers Bob's secret that he wears a toupee.
- Topher Grace as Eric Forman
- Mila Kunis as Jackie Burkhart
- Ashton Kutcher as Michael Kelso
- Danny Masterson as Steven Hyde
- Laura Prepon as Donna Pinciotti
- Wilmer Valderrama as Fez
- Debra Jo Rupp as Kitty Forman
- Kurtwood Smith as Red Forman
- Tanya Roberts as Midge Pinciotti
- Don Stark as Bob Pinciotti
- Lisa Robin Kelly as Laurie Forman (credit only)
Guest Starring Edit
- Amy Adams as Kat Peterson
- Paul Connor as Timmy
- KITTY: Honey, would you go to Bob and Midge’s and get my casserole dish? I’m making Tuna Surprise tonight.
- RED: Well now that I know, you’ve ruined the surprise. (They both start laughing)
- KITTY: It’s for Scrabble night. Bob and Midge love Tuna Surprise.
- RED: Yeah, but I don’t love Bob and Midge.
- KITTY: Well Red I have to keep inviting them over, they keep inviting us.
- RED: That’s because you keep inviting them. Somebody’s got to break the chain or it’ll go on forever.
- KITTY: Red, they’re the only friends we have since you made Phyllis cry.
- RED: I didn’t say anything about Phyllis’ weight that the whole room didn’t already know.
- (Red enters)
- RED: Hello?? (He takes the casserole dish and notices Bob with his head in the sink) Oh, hey Bob.
- (Bob turns around and is bald except for some hair around the sides. He sees Red, immediately puts his head back in the sink, and puts on his toupee. The toupee isn’t put on correctly)
- BOB: Oh, hi Red.
- (Red, open mouthed and bewildered, takes the casserole dish and exits)
- KITTY: No hair?
- RED: None…well, a little.
- KITTY: Well what are we talking about here Red? Is it Ed Asner bald or Charlie Brown bald?
- RED: Geez Kitty, I don’t know. I barely looked.
- KITTY: Ok I need a visual aid. (She goes and gets “Wooly Willy” a magnetic sketch pad)
- RED: It was so uncomfortable. I mean, a toupee is a pretty big lie, Kitty.
- KITTY: Ok here, show me on Wooly Willy. (Red starts sketching) Uh huh, ok, uh huh *(Red shakes the board so all the hair falls of Wooly Willy, this is what he shows her as the final product)
- KITTY: (astonished) Really??
- MIDGE: S-I-T. That’s “sit.”
- KITTY: Oh my, yes it is…again.
- BOB: Yeah, Midge has got quite a lead.
- MIDGE: Your turn Red.
- RED: Ok fine. “Cue ball” (He looks at Bob) I’m sorry Bob, I uh….
- BOB: Sorry? Why apologize to me? I like billiards. Billiards are fun. Ok, so you all know.
- MIDGE: I don’t know anything.
- BOB: I wear a toupee.
- MIDGE: Bob! If you tell them, they’ll know!
- BOB: I wear a rug, so what?
- (uncomfortable silence)
- KITTY: You know…..I wish I had a toupee. You know, because you know, the way my hair is sometimes.
- RED: Look Bob, being isn’t something a man has to hide from. A toupee is just silly.
- MIDGE: I keep telling him that if he grew as much hair on his head as he does on his back, he’d have a full head of hair!
- BOB: I know it’s silly, I guess I’m vain. Every morning I wake up wishing I had the courage to walk around looking like you. (Red looks slightly insulted) But I don’t, *Red. I don’t. I guess that makes me a bad person.
- RED: Look Bob, I didn’t mean to make you….
- BOB: No, no, you know what? You’re right Red, you’re right. Maybe it’s time I stop living the lie. (He takes off his toupee and puts it on the table)
- KITTY: (She tries to hold in her laughter and makes strange noises) Sinuses.
- (Everyone but Bob starts laughing)
- RED: Alright, alright. I was wrong, you need the toupee. Put it back on.
- (Bob puts his toupee on as everyone looks on and laughs)
- We find out Bob wears a toupee in this episode
- Amy Adams guest stars in this episode as a classmate named Kat Peterson
- Hey Paula by Paul & Paula
- – Eric drunk-serenades Donna